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Jokes

Here are some jokes and riddles you can try with your friends. 

If you have some jokes to share, you can send it to us and we might put it up to share with others.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the leg of a chicken!!!

Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken !!

What gets wet the more you dry?
A towel !!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoon it could be done !!

Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week?
They only work on wick-ends!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side !!!!

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station!!!

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers

What breaks when you say it? Silence!

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
You bump your nose on the ceiling !!

What did the sea say to the sand?
Nothing, it just waved!

What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!

Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't work !!

Where did the fat whale go?
To the 'whale way' station !!!

Why Did the Rooster refuse to fight ?
Because he was Chicken...!!!!

What kind of flowers grow on your face?
Tulips (2 lips).

What kind of beans never grow in a garden?
Jelly beans.

What has four legs but can't walk?
A table.

What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.

When are cooks mean?
When they beat the eggs and whip the cream.

Which is faster---hot or cold?
Hot---You can catch a cold.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Why is a math book sad?
It has so many problems.

What do you get when 2 strawberries meet?
A strawberry shake.

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.


Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming?
Because they take too long changing!

Why can't you starve in a desert?
Because of all the "sand which is" there!

What did one candle say to the other candle?
Lets go out tonight!

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!

What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells!

Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on his sleep!

What is always slow to come, but never actually happens?
Tomorrow

Why does a traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in front of so many people !!!

Why did the bald man put rabbits on his head?
Someone said that from a distance they looked like hairs !!!!

What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You're under 'a Vest' !!!!!!!!!!

Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaners don't have long enough cords!!

Why was Cinderella kicked off the cricket team?
She always ran away from the ball !!

What do you call a witch made of sand?
A sandwitch

What goes TICK TOC , WOOF , TIC TOCK , WOOF?
A watch dog!

What is the chicks most important test in school?
The eggzam.

How do you start a flea race?
1,2, flea go.

Why has a giraffe got a long neck?
So it can't smell its smelly feet.

Why can't 2 elephants go swimming?
Because they only have on pair of trunks between them .

Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake .

Why was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
He was catching all the chickens!

Why did the dinosaurs cross the road?
'Cuz they didn't have chickens back then!

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
To win the nobell prize

What sort of a cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah

What is a little dog's favorite drink?
Pupsi-cola.

Why did the pony cough?
He was a little hoarse!

How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with!


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